


I'm Not Your Ice Queen

by doctor_watson, toby_senpai (doctor_watson)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: F/F, F/M, Human AU, Nyotalia, Pastel Goth AU, band au, it started as sufin but i can't make up my mind so who knows what will happen, there's a heck of a lot of ship teasing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-10 10:36:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 17,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5582425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctor_watson/pseuds/doctor_watson, https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctor_watson/pseuds/toby_senpai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>{Fem!Su x Fin AU} Birgit Oxensteirna is a Tumblr girl who hates everyone and everything, except maybe for Nora Steillson. That's really the only reason why she went to that concert. It totally wasn't for the bitterly cute lead singer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I don't wanna

My blog is not a cutesy blog with kittens and flower crowns.

No, I think more appropriate words to describe it are.. grungy.. and pastel.. and dark.

I like puns, and the color lilac, and soft pink, and pictures of nature.

Also, there's a lot of... fandom.. stuff on my Tumblr.. I adore British television shows.

I check my messages. There's two, one from a very nice anon, and one from my Icelandic friend Nora. 

"hey i got 2 vip backstage passes to impending dooms next concert, and guess whos coming w/ me c;"

I scoff. "Lukas." 

I check my Facebook, figuring she wasn't on right now. I click back over to my mailbox, and lo and behold, she was on.

"ew, f.ck no. you, you jack.ss"

"me? I don't even like Impending Doom and you know that."

"come on, pwetty pwease??? c: ill take you to ikea after~~~~"

"I /live in IKEA. why would that be motivation for me to go?" Yeah. I worked at IKEA. And shopped there. And ate there. Please.

"PLEASE"

I spin around in my chair. I really don't want to go, at all, but if I did go..

"alright. but you owe me. BIG TIME." I smirk.

"yES THANK YOU MWAH KISSES ALSO ILL BE OVER FRIDAY BC ITS ON SATURDAY YAY"

I sigh. "alright, fine. see you then."

I look around my apartment. I should probably clean. Or at least make it stay-in-able. It's not like Nora's never seen it dirty.


	2. Viral Vines and Licorice Vines

I'm currently hiding under a mountain of blankets with Nora, laughing at vines and eating Twizzlers. She's been at my apartment for an hour, and I'm not sick of her yet, so that's a good sign. 

She howls at that '9 + 10' vine and now I'm sick of her.

"Twenty-one!! Twenty-one!!" She keeps saying the number with a stupid voice and I want to choke her. "Shut 'p...." I shove her face away from me.

On the inside though, I'm kind of happy. Because even though Nora is annoying as hell right now, it just means she trusts me enough to act like this. She normally just crosses her arms and pouts and whines, but she's being open now. 

"My name is Jeff!!" And now she found the 'My name is Jeff' vine oh gosh.

She wraps her arms around my stomach. "C'mon, say it!! Just once!!" 

I give her a stern look then cave as she gives me wide puppy-eyes. 

"M' ... m' name 's Jeff.."

She falls off the bed, scream/laughing. "Nora?" I lean over. "Ya okay?" She rolls around, holding her stomach. "Holy fuck, it's so funny when you say it with your silly accent---!!"

I blush darkly and glare at her. "M' accent's not silly. Piss off."

She pants, trying to catch her breath, and smiles. "Sorry. Don't be mad at me, Bir~"

I shove her. "Leave me alone." She pouts. "C'mon.. I'll kiss it better~"

She pecks me on the lips and I shove her again, blushing. "Stopppppp~!!" 

Nora pounces on me and pulls my arms behind my back, kissing all over my face. "Nora.. stop..!!" I pull my arms free and shove her off. "'f I gotta shove ya again.. Yer.." 

She leans right back over me. "I'm what~?" She grins. 

I pull on her hair and she whines. "Yer gonna be sorry!!!!!" I shove her again and sit on top of her.

She pushes on my stomach. "Get off..!!"

"No." I smirk.

"I'll bite you!!" "'nd I'll pinch ya."

She bites my arm and I pinch her as promised. "Say yer sorry 'nd I'll get off."

She squirms. "S-Sorry.." I move off of her and she takes a deep breath. "You're kinda heavy.." "Well, don't make me mad 'nd I won't hafta sit on ya." 

She looks away. "I'm sorry." 

I look at her, feeling a little bad. "Hey, guess what?"

She turns to me. "What."

I clear my throat. "A potato flew 'round m' room before ya came, 'xcuse the mess that 't made.." 

She stares. "Ah... ahhahaha!!" She falls over on the bed laughing. "So that's why it's so dirty in here---" 

I giggle. "Hah, yeah."

Nora yawns. "It's like, 5 am.. we should probably get to sleep..." 

I nod and push her over on the bed, wrapping my arms around her. "Mm.. night." I snuggle her and fall asleep.


	3. Concert Going

I wake up in a pile of blankets, Nora's arms around my waist. "Hey baby.." I look down and she's smiling up at me. I give her a playful swat. "Shut 'p.." 

I prop myself up on my elbow. "How'd ya sleep?" She pulls her arms away and stretches. "Nice. What's the time?" 

I look over at my clock. "Two in the afternoon." She sits up, yawing. "Damn, we slept for that long?" I shrug. "Nn." 

She crawls out of bed and stretches again. "Guess we'd better get ready. Got your outfit picked out, Bir?"

"Mm.." I nod and stretch out on the bed. I point to the outfit on the door. "'m wearing that."

Nora eyes the tie-dyed shirt and smiles. "I like." 

She runs over to her suitcase and pulls out a dress, then rummages through her bag, pulling out necklaces and little tidbits to go with it. "Hold on." She goes in the bathroom and I pull myself out of bed.

I pull off my shirt, deciding to get dressed. I slip of my pants as well, and unclasp my bra.

Nora slams the bathroom door open, parading out in her tastefully distasteful outfit and I turn pink. "I like da tiddies." She licks her lips and I throw a pillow at her. "S-Shut 'p!!"

I grab my clothes quickly and hurry to pull them on, embarrassed. As soon as I stand, she runs her hand down her hip. "How do I look, love~?"

"Like adorable. Also like ya could stab some'ne." She smirks at the comment. "Thanks doll. You look like the princess of death. Lemme put your hair up. I don't want you to get old guy vomit in your gorgeous fucking hair." 

She grabs my long, soft pink hair and pulls it back into a loose ponytail, pinning up the front with two little cute bone clips.

"You look like a million bucks. Stay close to me 'cuz if anyone touches you I'll fuckin' kill 'em." She gives me a tight squeeze. "'kay, 'kay, can't breath--" I choke out.

She lets go and smiles. "Ready?" I nod. "Ja, lemme just grab m' bag." I grab said bag and hold the door open for her.

"Ya got the tickets?" I say as we walk to her car. "Yeah, they're in my front pocket." She reaches inside to double-check and nods. 

We get in her cozy little car, and we're off. The ride is definitely not a quiet one, because I brought along some of my CD's and we're headbanging along to the loud music. It's about a 45 minute drive, an hour counting that time we went to a fast food restaurant.

The parking lot of the concert is packed, and we're fairly early. "Must be a popular band." I mutter to myself. 

Nora smiles. "I didn't tell you this because I wanted it to be a surprise.. but.. Panic! At The Disco and Falling In Reverse are playing before Impending Doom." 

My jaw hits the floor. "WHAT." She laughs. "Good thing you agree to come along, huh?"

Real, actual tears pour from my eyes. "Whoa.. slow down the waterworks...." She laughs to herself. "Can't... 'm so happy..." I dab at my eyes with my sleeve.

"Chill, bae, we're about to get out." She parks and I take a deep breath before getting out. "'kay, 'm good."

She grabs my hand and we make our way down to the concert, getting thoroughly checked and showing off our tickets. It seems like an eternity, but we finally make it to our seat, literally inches away from the stage. 

P!ATD is perfection. I keep in my tears, trying to breath. The excitement is just too much.

And Falling in Reverse is just as good. But, but better.. because the lead singer.. reaches out.. touches my hand.. I cry for a while until Nora gets me to calm down.

They finish so quickly. And now it's time for Impending Doom. Nora's crying now, just a little. She bounces and sings and hits the table along with the music. 

I dig into my kind of gross nachos, boredly watching the band play. And then I spot him. I don't know how I didn't realize it before. 

The lead, he's gorgeous. My eyes fixate on him. His voice is so soft.. really quite unfitting for a heavy metal singer..

"Nora!!" I shout as loud as I can. "WHAT--" I barely hear. "What's t' lead's name!!"

"TINO!!" 

Tino? I rest my head in my hands. It's perfect for him. It's a pretty name. I hope the concert will end soon-- because I.. I get to meet him!! That's right!! We have backstage passes!!

And right on cue, the concert is over. Impending Doom dissappears behind the curtain, and two guards lead us up behind stage to meet Panic! at the Disco and Falling in Reverse.

Nora's voice is so raw from screaming that she can't even greet the boys. The lead of P!ATD takes my hand and I want to cry happily. "I saw you crying the whole time, were we that bad?" 

I shake my head, tears welling up in my eyes again. "So good.. yer performance was so good.." 

He laughs. "That's a cute accent, where are you from?" I blush. "Sweden." I look at the floor. "Oh, how nice!!" 

He plants a little kiss on my cheek and I turn bright pink. "It was nice to meet you.." "Birgit." "Birgit.. how pretty. I hope to see you at another show soon~"

I almost die. The same pretty much happens with the lead of Falling in Reverse. They are both so sweet.

And before long, Impending Doom comes into the sort-of break room to meet us. The lead... the perfect lead.. Tino.. he shakes my hand. "Hi, I'm Tino!! What's your name?"  
Nora's grinning, ooh gosh. But she's all over the drummer, ha. 

"Birgit.." I blush and he smiles, sitting beside me on the couch. "Birgit, huh? Swedish?"

"U-Uh, ja.." He smiles wider. "I'm Finnish." "I know-- I-I mean.." He laughs. "You're adorable, haha!!" I glare at him, making him laugh more. "So cute!!"

The rest of the time was spent with him talking about the members of his band, how it started, where they've traveled, the like. Soon it's over. Too soon, I might say.

He kisses my cheek. "I really hope to see you again." I stare at him, face crimson. "Y-You will. I swear."  
He smiles widely and slips something down my shirt, then gives me a full-fledged kiss on the lips. "Bye!!" He runs off with the rest of the band.

Nora sighs loudly. "That was so perfect.. have fun?" I'm too busy feeling around in my shirt to answer. "Bir!! You don't do that in public!! This is America, for fuck's sake!!" I blush. 

"N-Nej! I just--" I finally find the little thing.

It's a card, with his number right on it. Tino's, I mean. "AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I fall right off the couch. "Bir? We have to go now? Get up?"

"HE GAVE ME H'S NUMBER" "His what?" "NUMBER!!!!"

She pulls me up and looks at the card. "Well, hot dog. I'll be damned. Let's go now."


	4. Bitter Brennivin and Tears

Nora's hands are gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles are white. "Somethin' wrong?"

"Why the fuck did it have to be Tino?" "'xcuse me?" "Out of all the people you could like, why him?"

I stare at her blankly. "W-Why are ya gettin' so mad?"

"Because he's an ass!!" 

"He doesn't seem like an ass---"

"Because he was trying to make a good impression!!"

"Well, how do you know?" 

"Because we're related, damn!"

I go quiet. "R... Related..?"

"Yes, we're cousins!"

"Why's it matter..?"

"Why should he get to have you?! He's an ass!! Why not me?!"

My face turns pink and I understand. "Nora, I--"

"No, just shut up!! Okay?!" I can hear the tears in her voice.

I nod and move a little closer to the window, hiding my face from her. Because now I'm crying too.

The rest of the car ride is quiet. Pure silence. No one says another word the whole time. We don't even stop to eat again.

As soon as she pulls up to my apartment complex, she sighs. "Look, I.. I'm sorry."

I grab my bag and step out of the car, too embarrassed to look at her still.

"Birgit!!"

I don't turn around.

"Birgit!!" 

She follows me to the front door of the building and pins me to the wall.

"Fucking look at me!!"

I do finally look up at her, tears running down my cheeks. "What."

"I said I'm fucking sorry!!"

I squirm in her grip and try to break free.

"No, look at me!!" She turns me to face her. She's breathing heavily, she's so angry.

Her lips crash against mine and my eyes widen. She forces my mouth open and gives me a heated French kiss. She tastes like Brennivin. She must have snuck some into the concert.

She finally pulls away and I choke on her alcoholic taste. "Why don't you love me. I do everything for you and you just hate me. I hate you. I hate you." She collapses to her knees and hugs my waist, sobbing. 

"I love you so much---!! And I-- You won't-- not me!!" "Nora."

I grab her by the shoulders. "Get up, let's go. Now." 

She shoves me off and goes to her car. "Fuck you." She gets in her car and slams the door.

"What about yer stuff?!"

She stares at me through the windshield, tears dripping down her face, and gives me an obscene hand gesture. 

"Fine." I turn on my heel and spit on the ground, trying to get her bitter flavor out of my mouth. 

It's going to be a lonely night.


	5. Sad Times at IKEA

It is a bitter night, and it's a bitter morning, too. I hug onto a stuffed dog that Nora had got me and sob most of the night. By the time I get up for work at 7 am, I'm practically dead.

It's hard to go to work when you feel like this. It's so hard to plaster on a cute smile and help the stupid customers find end tables and sofas. I'm almost in tears by break time, but somehow I manage to keep it together.

I step outside for my 30 minute break, which is pretty long, thankfully. I sit outside the backdoor, leaning against the brick wall, and smoke. And cry. Mostly the latter.

One of my coworkers steps outside. "Hey, Bir, how's it-- Bir?"

I guess I was crying a little loudly. "What's wrong?!" He leans over beside me and studies my eyeliner-covered face. 

"'s nothin'... don't worry, Ivan--" "Break is over soon!! You have to cheer up a little, so tell me what's wrong!! Maybe I can help!!"

"'s Nora..." My voice cracks, just trying to spit out her name. "--fighting.."

Ivan hugs me and I start to sob again, hiding my face in his shoulder. He pats my back. "Hey, hey.. it's okay.. shhhh.."

My fingers dig into the fabric of his soft, fleecy coat and he strokes my hair. "It's okay.. Birgit.. listen to me, look up, da?"

I hiccup and look up at him like he says. "How'd you like to come to my place after work? J-Just as friends, I mean. You can tell me all about what happened and cry as much as you'd like." 

I sniffle and nod, wiping off my cheeks with my shirt sleeve. "Sounds.. sounds good.."

Ivan smiles. "Okay. Ready to go back in?" I nod again.

"Oh, I'll go ahead and take your spot at front desk. Think you can handle cooking for a bit?" 

"Ja, 'm good at cooking.." "Alright." He smiles. "Come on." He pulls me up by the hand and leads me back inside. 

It's a lot easier to work in the kitchen. It keeps my mind off of things, plus it's pretty fun to cook.

I must have made at least 200 meatballs in a few hours. I make them a lot at home, so it's a breeze. I ought to switch stations with Ivan more. He's a good friend.

Soon Ivan comes into the kitchen, holding my coat. "Good job today!" He smiles and helps me put on my coat. 

I nod. "Th'nks.. fer switchin' stations with me.. 'nd everything.." I give him a slight smile and he pats my back. "C'mon, let's go now!" 

I trudge outside. It's raining. Perfectly reflecting my current mood. "Shoot.." Ivan pulls up the hood of my coat and covers my head, then runs to his car and opens the door for me. I give him a confused sort of look and get inside. "Th'nks."

He walks around, taking a seat and starting the car. "How'd you get here this morning? I thought you didn't have a car?"

"Bus.." I sigh. Nora is usually my ride to work.. "Oh, well, I'll pick you up tomorrow, if you need!"

I nod. "That'd be great." "What time?" "7."

It would be a silent ride if Ivan wasn't singing softly the whole time. His voice is very sweet, and he sings in Russian, along to some song I don't know. It's very calming, I almost fall asleep.

His house is surprisingly close to IKEA. About 15 minutes away, I'd guess. He opens the door for me again, and leads me inside. "My sisters are out right now.." 

He takes my coat and sits with me on the sofa, sitting down with his legs crossed, and his head rested on his hand. "So, what troubles you?"

"Yesterday.." I sigh. "Yesterday I went t' a concert with Nora.. and.. we had backstage VIP passes.. 't was really nice.. well, t' lead singer of favorite band 's also her cousin..? I guess.. somethin' like that.."

Ivan doesn't notice that I'm doing, neither do I, really, but I'm falling over into his lap, slowly. "'s very cute.. his name 's Tino.. 'nd.. I met 'im.. he gave me his number.." "Da..?"

"'nd.. 'n the car... Nora.. Nora shouted 't me.. b-because.. I.. I guess she likes me.. a-and I like her cousin.." He holds my head in his lap and strokes my hair. "I'm sorry.."

"'nd then," I choke up, "when we got home, s-she was drunk.. o-or somethin'.. she kissed me.. she shouted more.. 'nd then she got 'n her car 'nd drove off---"

I'm in tears by the time I finish my stupid little story. Ivan pulls me up, and hugs me tightly, letting me cry into his shoulder again. "I'm sorry.. I really am.."  
I can't even offer up an "it's not your fault". All I can do is sob, more and more. 

"Princess.. are you tired?" It's been about 5 straight minutes of me crying. I nod, hugging him tighter. "Do you want to go to sleep?" I nod again.

He loops his arm under my legs, and scoops me up. I hold onto his shoulders, hiccuping as he carries me upstairs into the guest room. He lays me in the bed and covers me up, then starts to leave.

"Wait--- don't go--" I reach out for him and he pauses. "Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?" I nod and pull on his scarf. 

Ivan lays beside me, staring at the wall uneasily. I pull him closer, and wrap my arms around him, hiccuping, yawning. 

He looks down at me. "Please cuddle me.." I mutter. He pauses before pulling me closer, resting my head in the crook of his neck. "This okay?" I nod and breath in his scent, musky.

I slowly fall asleep, and I guess he slips out of the room.


	6. Bizarre Sisters

I wake up in a bed that is not my own. Which is unsettling, to say the least. I get out of bed, legs shaking, unable to remember what happened last night. Or yesterday, for that matter. 

I walk downstairs, down a long hallway, looking around at pictures on the wall, very princely figures. I hear soft humming and some soft of sizzling from the next room. I peek around the corner and my eyes widen. 

"Ivan?" The person humming turns around. "Oh, Princess! You're awake! I'm making pancakes, want some?" I nod. "Please."

I sit at the table in the center of the room. "Where am I, pray tell?" He turns with a plate stacked high with pancakes. "You mean to tell me you don't know?" I shake my head.

"I slept so well las' night.. I can't remember anythin'.." I pause. "Oh, wait, I sort 'f remember. I was at work.. 'm at yer house..?" I shove a bite of pancakes in my mouth and look around again. He chuckles. "Excellent observation, Princess, you fell asleep last night and I never got the chance to take you home."

He continues cooking. "We didn't do anythin'.. right?" My cheeks turn pink, just thinking of it. He shakes his head. "No, we didn't.. you laid in my lap and cried a little." He laughs. "Then you went right to bed." 

I take another bite. "Oh.. right.. Did yer sisters ever get home? 'd like to say hi t' them." He gives me a look of surprise. "Yes, they should be down in a minute.." 

Suddenly there's a soft thud, followed by a high-pitched cry. "Oh.. here they come.." Ivan disappears for a minute, the returns with a very curvy blonde, who's sobbing. 

"This is my big sister Katyusha.." She wipes her eyes and sits across from me. "I'm Katyusha.. silly me.. you already know that.." She tears up again and sticks her hand out, trembling. I take her hand and shake it.

"M' name's Birgit." She laughs. "I know.. that's such a pretty accent, where are you from? "Sweden.." I shrug. "And you work at IKEA, how funny!" "Y-Yeah.."

I turn towards the door, hearing the click-clack of heels. Ivan turns too, smiling uncomfortably. "Oh, Natalya, you're awake!" I take it that's his other sister. She's not quite as well-rounded as Katyusha, but she has platinum blonde hair like Ivan. "Yes." She grabs my hand to forcefully shake it. "I'm Natayla."

Ivan gives them both a plate, smiling nervously at me. Katyusha happily eats her pancakes and Natalya glares at me, cutting her food aggresively. I stuff my face full of pancakes, not really wanting to say anything more to either of them. 

I finish eating and look at Ivan. "What's th' time?" "7:18." He puts my plate in the sink. "Ready to go to work?" "Ja.." He smiles and grabs our coats and hands mine to me. "Come on." I shrug my coat on and step outside. 

He leads to his car and opens the door for me. As soon as he gets in, he sighs. "I don't know why you'd want to say hi to them..." I shrug. "I didn't know."

I sigh and slump over in my seat. "Do you want to switch stations with me again?" I nod. "Ja.. 'm still not ready to deal with all those people.." 

He smiles. "It's fine. You seem better at cooking than I am, anyways." He pulls out of the driveway and we head off.

"Oh, I really hate to ask this Princess.. but.. I'm curious.. do you think you will still be friends with Nora?" I stare at him. "I.. I don't know.." 

"Have you tried to call her?" "Hnmmm." "Maybe you should try that?"

I lean my head against the window. "It's been what... three days...? D' ya think she f'rgives me?"

He shakes his head and I tense up in shock. "No, you haven't done anything wrong at all, Princess.. maybe.. she needs time to think. Or some space. You should leave her a message when you get home."

I sigh in relief and nod. "Alrigh'... I guess... 'f we did... 't would be weird..." 

"I get that.. but it's better than not friends at all?"

"Maybe 'm blowing this way out of proportion.."

Ivan sighs. "Maybe you both are."


	7. Kiss Scene

After work, I go home. And prepare myself for what I have to do.

I call Nora.

And luckily, she doesn't have Caller ID, because I know she would never have answered.

"Hello?"

"Nora, please don't hang 'p."

"What do you want." Her voice suddenly gets harsh, and I cringe.

"Whatever I did, please, 'm sorry. I want us t' be friends still. 'll do whatever 't takes."

She goes quiet for a minute. "It's my fault. I've been an ass. I can't tell you who to like. I'm sorry."

I pause, trying to find words. "Do you want to come over?"

"Sure. I'll be over in half an hour."

I try as hard as I can to make myself look presentable in those thirty minutes. And I guess I succeeded. 

Someone knocks on my door, and I put down the food I was making. 

"Bir..?"

I look up, and it's her. She barely peeks out from behind the door, holding her bag, and fidgeting. 

"Come 'n." She looks at the floor as she comes inside. "I made fish... 'f ya want some.."

She shakes her head. "I just.. I want to talk.."

I nod. "We can go 'n m' room. 'f ya want." 

Nora walks back to my bedroom without saying a word, and sits on my bed. I shut my door when I come in.

"What d'ya wanna talk about?" I sit beside her.

"You.. you weren't supposed to find out.." Her voice cracks and I tense up.

"Find out what..?" 

"I love you.. m-more than a friend.." 

I don't know what to say. I take a minute to think. 

"'t was already kind 'f obvious."

She looks up, eyeliner dripping down her cheeks, but it's pretty, in a way. She leans in towards me, eyes half-lidded. 

"I love you so much.. I can hardly stand it.."

Her hand finds its way to my cheek, and I close my eyes. "Nora.."

She brings her face close to mine, so close that I can smell her perfume, her shampoo, even her lipstick. 

"I love you."

She gently kisses me. It was nothing like the other night, it was so sweet, a butterfly kiss.

"I love you more than life itself."

She kisses me again. And again. I don't fight back, her arms wrap around me, and I sink into them. 

We slowly fall back onto the bed, she kisses me, but I don't kiss back. But I still don't resist. 

Nora gently bites at my lip, and I open my mouth a little, knowing. Her tongue finds its way in my mouth, touches mine, and I let it.

She pulls away. "You don't want this, do you."

I shake my head. "I don't know.. I like 't.. b-but.. I.. I want t' be friends.."

"We can still be friends!" She laughs. "A little kissing never hurt anyone!" 

"But ya don't want t' stop at kissing, do you..?"

She tangles her fingers in my hair and pulls me close to her. "You're right.. I don't.. but it'll be enough if that's all you want.."

She presses her forehead to mine, and kisses my nose. "I'm happy with just this much.. to be able to touch you like this.. I.."

She kisses me again, and pulls away. "It's all I've wanted."

I lean forward, and just barely kiss her. Her eyes widen a little. 

"I want t' be friends.. but I guess 's okay to do this.. 'f we can still.. be friends."

She laughs softly, and nods. "Yes.." Her hands hold the nape of my neck, pull me as close as I can get. "More kisses."

We kiss again. It's soft, and gentle. We kiss until we can't kiss anymore, and Nora falls over on my bed, smiling softly. 

"I love you."

I snuggle up next to her, a tiny smile on my face. "I love ya too."


	8. Number

I wake up at 6 the next morning, feeling a bit grumpy since I was up so early on my off day.

After I dress, I decide to make breakfast for Nora since she's still asleep, and I end up making pancakes. Nothing too fancy.

I stand to grab the milk, then realize there is none. There's still a bit of time before Nora will get up, so I grab my purse.

I rummage through, trying to find my wallet.. and pull out the card as well.

The card being the card with Tino's number on it, of course.

I grab my wallet and run out of the apartment, and start to walk to the store.

And debate calling Tino.

Tino, Tino, Tino.

To call or not to call?

I call. I pull my phone from my pocket and bite my lip as I type in the number.

The phone rings. Rings, rings.

"Hello?"

Oh gosh, it's him. He sounds pretty.

"T-Tino?"

"Juu, that's me! Who's this?"

"'s me.. Birgit.."

"Birgit.." There's a pause. "Ah! Birgit, right, I'm sorry! How're you?"

"I-I am fine.. I--"

He laughs happily. "We should meet up sometime! I'm in NYC right now! How close is that to you~?"

"I-I live 'n New York City.." I barely spit out.

"Really?! That's great! I'm at the Marriott, do you think you could meet me here? I'd love to see you~"

"J-Ja.."

"Great! Just get to the hotel and page me! And if anyone asks, show them the card I gave you.. assuming you still have it~"

"J-Ja... I-"

"Alright! I'll see you tomorrow then, beautiful!"

There's a dial tone.

"I.."

I jam my phone back into my pocket, tears welling up in my eyes.

He didn't really even remember me.

I run in the store and grab the milk, and run home.

It was stupid of me to even think he would remember me, I don't know why I'm crying.

But I can't stop it.

I put the milk on the table and go to the bathroom, and lock the door. And collapse on the floor.

Any other girl would be giddy to spend the day with a star, but I'm ashamed.

He didn't remember. He only wants to play with me.

The door handle jiggles and I freeze.

"Bir? Birgit? What's wrong?"

Nora. She watched me walk in here. I feel idiotic now.

"..fine." I mutter, trying to sound at least a little put together.

The handle jiggles again. "Birgit.. c'mon... open up.."

"Go away.." I groan. There's no way I can let her see me like this, not for this reason.

"Birgit, I'm serious! Open!"

I shake my head, which was pointless, she couldn't hear it, and bury my head between my knees.

Suddenly, the door opens, but I don't bother to look up.

"Bir, baby, what's wrong?!" She falls over at my side. How can two relatives be so different?

I feebly brush her away. "Don't.. want.."

I can't even finish the sentence.

"Come here.. get off the floor.." She grabs me by the wrist and hoists me up, dragging me into the bedroom, and flops me onto the bed.

"Talk to me.. it's okay.." She snuggles close to me, and I wrap my arms around her waist and sob.

"Birgit?"

I don't answer. I can't. I'm choking on my own tears.

She sighs softly and pulls my hair aside, rubbing my back. "Shh, shh, baby.."

I quietly sob until I can't anymore, it hurts. I calm down a little.

"Are you ready to talk now? Where did you go?" Nora pulls me up in her lap, wiping off my face with tissues.

I nod, hugging her tightly. "I.. I went t' the store.. a-and I found Tino's number.."

She cringes on 'Tino'. "And you called him?"

I nod again. "He didn't remember me 't first.. 'nd.. t-then.. he invited me to his hotel.. I feel.. I feel so used.." I bit my lip, tearing up.

"I told you.. I told you.. he's an ass.." She strokes my cheek and brushes away the tears.

I shake my head. "B-But.."

She pulls me close and gently kisses me. "No.. honey... I told you.."

I lean over on her shoulder, hugging her. "I-I'm sorry--"

"It's not your fault.. shh.."

And she whispers sweet nothings to me the rest of the day.


	9. Kawaii Killer

I go to Tino's hotel the next day.

Sounds stupid, right?

Hear me out, though.

I go right up to his room, wearing a frilly dress, dolled up like a kawaii princess.

Because that's really going to contradict what I'm about to do.

I knock on the door, and he comes running.

"Hi! Yo-"

I grab him by the collar. "Don't you ever toy w'th me again. Disgusting boy."

He stares up at me, eyes wide. "W-What?!! I-I wasn't!!"

"What's m' name?"

"I-It's Birgit!"

I grab his hand, looking to see if he had it written down somewhere. He doesn't.

"I see." I drop him. "Why did ya invite me ov'r?"

He rubs his throat. "I-I wanted t-to talk!"

"Talk? 'bout what?" I tilt my head.

He sighs. "Come in?"

I nod and step inside of the room.

He shuts the door and sits on the bed.

"I think.. I really like you. Honestly. I don't really know what it feels like to like, like someone.. I.."

I put my hand on my hip. "Well.. what d'ya feel?" I hope he doesn't look up and see the bright red blush on my face.

"My chest feels tight when I think about you.. and I.. I kinda smile and my face burns... I can't get you out of my head!" He looks up. He's blushing too.

My shoulders go down. "Really?"

He nods. "I'm gonna be in New York for the next year.. Matthias broke his hand.. we promised we would wait until he could play again.. I wanted to settle down.."

I sit beside him. "Really..?"

He laughs. "I was even thinking I could rent an apartment and live here!"

My heart is beating in my chest. For a year.. he likes me.. he likes me..

"Tino.."

I grab his hand. I have to see if he really likes me. If I really like him.

Because I want this so bad. Something inside me wants this.

He stares at me as I slowly pull him into a kiss.

I make it a deep one. He eventually untenses and smiles as we pull away.

"I think I like ya too."

His smile gets wider. This time its him who says it. "Really?!"

I nod. "You listen t' me though. What are your plans?"

He shrugs. "I didn't think I'd get this far! I guess.. w-we could.. date or something?"

I blush. "We have t' take it slow. That's t' only way this will work. Okay?" I look right into his eyes.

"Yes." He nods. I think he's being sincere.

I stand. "I'll call ya tomorrow."

Tino smiles. "Great! I'll be waiting!"

I walk to the door and wave as I walk out. "See ya."

"Bye!"

I think that went okay.


	10. Cuddles and Waffles

"Birgit? Where'd you go?" Nora stares up at me from behind the couch.

"Out."

"Out whereeeeeeeeeeeeeeee??" She whines.

I slip off my coat.

"You went to Tino's hotel, didn't you."

I nod. "Yes."

"Birgit... why?!" Her shoulders droop.

"H-He wanted t' see me.. I wanted.."

"But what did I tell you?!"

"Ya told me I shouldn't.." I feel bad.

"Then why did you go?"

"I went to yell 't him.." I say quietly, almost whispering.

"Did you?" Her voice drops too.

I nod. "A little. He said he 'nly wanted t' talk.. he said he really likes me.. I th'nk he was bein' serious.."

I can't look at Nora. She's probably crying or something. She must be.

"And then what?"

"We're dating."

"Oh."

I don't say anything else. I'm scared to, honestly.

"Are you happy?" I look over at her, a little surprised. She's not crying. She's not even frowning. She looks a little curious, I might even say.

"I don't know.. I told h'm we have t' take 't slow. So we both c'n figure out how we feel."

"And he said okay?" I nod. "Yes."

She nods. "Well.. if you're happy.. then I'm happy for you."

I smile slightly. "Mean 't?"

She nods again. "As long as I still get to give you friendship kisses sometimes." She grins.

"Sure. No tongue though, 'kay?" "Aww..."

I snicker. "Just one more w'th tongue will b' okay.. I guess.."

She tackles me before I even finish my sentence and gives me a huge kiss.

I will miss this though.

-:-:-

It's Monday morning. I stand up, letting the blankets fall behind me, stretching.

My little leech hugs my waist. "Birrrrrrrrr... why are you up so early... nngh."

I ruffle her hair. "'s time fer me t' go t' work."

I pull her arms off me, slipping on my work clothes.

"Waaaaaaaaahhhhh... I don't want you to gooooo... what am I gonna do all day..?" Nora rolls over on the bed, kicking the blankets off of her.

"Clean? Go shoppin'? Something, I dunno." I shrug, walking into the kitchen.

She trails after me and I give her a look. "Put clothes on and maybe I'll make you waffles."

She looks down at herself, then up at me. "Aww... fine." She scampers back in the bedroom, and I get started on breakfast.

Waffles, and scrambled eggs. Good enough.

Nora finally wanders out when I'm finished with the eggs, and grabs a frozen waffle, nibbling on it.

"Bad Nora." I snatch it off of her and smirk as she pouts. "Let m' finish first."

I shove a plate of waffles into the microwave and set it for 4 minutes, turn to her, and sigh.

"Tired?" She leans on her elbow against the counter. I nod.

"Yeah. I was thinkin' all night. Didn't sleep much."

"Thinking? About what?" She tilts her head.

"Tino." I stare at the floor. "Oh."

The microwave dings and I pull out the plate, wincing. "Done."

Nora grabs four waffles from the plate and puts them on the plate with the eggs.

I stare at her. "I want some 'f those."

She looks at me, then the eggs, then me. Sighs. "Here.." She shoves half of them onto my plate.

"Th'nks." I shovel food in my mouth, watching the clock. "ve got ten minutes left."

She nods. "Okay. I'm done." I look up, and she's already eaten all the waffles, and half of the eggs. Like a vaccuum cleaner, really.

She gives me a grin and smacks me. "Let's go."

I nod, shuffling to the car.

Then we go to work.


	11. Coffee

It's a long shift at work.

Although I'm very thankful to Ivan for switching stations with me. Honestly, I wouldn't be able to handle customer service.

Ivan pokes his head in the kitchen at 3pm. "Princess, it's leaving time."

I nod, cleaning up the mess I made. "Alright."

"Do you need a ride home? I'll drive you." He hands me my coat, smiling.

"Sure. Th'nks." I slip it on and walk out. I think he just offers so he can be right in my business for a while longer. I don't mind though. He means well.

He leads me out to the car. "How've things been? I haven't seen you in a while."

I laugh to myself. "'s been 3 days."

"That's a long time for me!" He gets in, turning on the car.

I get in and buckle up. "Sure. Well.. they've been fine."

"Did you talk to Nora?"

"Ja.. I did. 'verything's good between 's now." He smiles.

"That's great!" I nod. "Also 'm dating Tino." Why do I talk, I shouldn't have said that.

"....Oh?" That was a long pause. "Ja. 's living here for a year. Said he really likes me. I told 'im we could date. 'f he promised t' take it slow."

I'm not looking at him, I can't look at him. "That's nice."

Pause. Long, long pause.

"Are you happy about this?" I nod. "Ja. I guess."

I suddenly remember. "I should call him. I said I would."

Ivan starts driving as I pull out my phone. Maybe I'll just text him.

'hej, Tino. it's Bir.'

I put my phone down and take a long look out the window, before it vibrates.

'hi bir! u texted me! i didnt think u would!' I feel myself cringe. He has the texting skills of a 3rd year. Gross.

'ja, ja, I said I would, didn't I? what's up?' Vibrate. 'nothin rlly. im spr bored. & lonly. if u ever get some time we shld hang out :D'

YUCK. Excuse me. I like proper grammar.

Ivan glances over at me. "Texting?"

I nod. "He has no proper English skills 't all." He laughs. "Boys are lazy when it comes to those things!"

"Are you?" I snicker. He shakes his head. "I rarely text.. and when I do, I spell my words right, like any educated person would, da?" He grins.

"Haha, same! I might not c'pitalize things, but they're 'lways spelled right!"

Why are we laughing over texting styles? I don't know. I feel like we've gotten closer. In a cheesy way. Only good friends could laugh together over something so tawdry.

I text a reply. 'sure. tommorow afternoon alright? you can come over to my place.'

Vibrate. 'juu! :D txt me the adress!!!!!'

I huff. I think I might just call him from now on. I hastily type in my address. Hopefully he will be educated enough to find the place.

Or I'll have to come pick him up.

'ill b there around 3!!!!!!!!! :D'

I nod, then question why I'm nodding. He can't read my nods.

'alright. see you then. c:'

I think this will be a good experience.

Maybe, if Nora's not around.

Well, actually, maybe she should be with us. So she can keep me from doing anything stupid.

The car suddenly jerks to a stop.

"We're here!" Ivan smiles widely.

I flash him a quick smile then open the door. Before I close it, I turn back around. "D'ya wanna come up fer coffee 'r something?"

Ivan nods. "Sure, thank you!" He gets out, shutting the door.

Is Nora still around? Probably. I pull my keys from my jacket pocket and head up the stairs, Ivan following close behind.

I open up the door, sighing. She's not here.

Ivan peeks inside my apartment. I grab his arm and pull him inside, pointing to the couch. "Ya can sit over there."

Ivan nods. "Alright." He sits on the couch, idly looking at things, touching knick-knacks on my coffee table.

I make a pot of coffee, leaning on the counter and staring off into space.

"So where is Nora?"

I turn around. "Nora? Oh. She has school." I shrug. "She should be gettin' back soon."

"Ah, okay." He smiles.

The coffee is done by now, so I grab the pot and pour two cups. "What d'ya want in yer coffee?"

"Milk. That's all." He drums his fingers on the edge of the couch and hums.

I nod, putting the milk in his and putting an ungodly amount of sugar in mine. I hand him the coffee, smiling.

"Spasibo." He takes a sip and smiles. "It's very good, Princess."

I smile. "Takk." I drink mine and stare at the wall, and a familiar voice suddenly floods in.

"I'm home ~ !" Nora. Ivan stands, putting his coffee on the table. "Hello, Miss Nora!"

She smiles widely. "Ivan!! I didn't know you were here!!!" She pats his back and glances at the table. "Coffee?"

I nod. "Want some?" "Yessssssss.." She rubs her hands together and puts her coat on the door.

I grab a cup, and start making it. I already know what she wants. A little bit of sugar, a lot of milk. And chocolate syrup in it.

"Here." I hand her the cup. She grins. "Thanks, bud."

She flops down on the couch beside Ivan, smiling. "So how have you been? I haven't seen you in weeks!"

Ivan shrugs. "Quite average. Nothing amazing has happened, but nothing horrible has happened either. I can't complain." He smiles slightly.

Nora nods, completely engaged in the conversation. "My week has been really busy! I have finals this week and I've been studying my ass off just to--"

I tune out the rest of her college talk, trying to straighten up a little.

Tino's coming over tomorrow.. Tino's coming over tomorrow.. I'm a little excited!

But I should probably tell Nora.

"Hej, Nora?"

"Huh?" She turns to me, pausing her long rant.

"Tino's comin' over tomorrow."

She smiles, to my surprise, and flashes me a thumbs up. "Great." She resumes her conversation with Ivan, and I continue tidying up.

I can't wait until tomorrow.

-:-:-

It's around 10pm now. Ivan's long gone, and Nora is snuggling me in my bed.

Which brings about an important question.

"Nora?"

"Hmmmmm?" She smiles, pulling me closer to her.

"Are ya living here now?"

She freezes and looks up at me. "Why do you ask?"

I shrug. "You've been here f'r a week straight. Ya never usually stay th's long."

Nora nods. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Maybe I am. That's cool, right?"

I sigh. "Sure. As long as ya help with the rent 'nd stuff."

She lets out a squeal. "Then I guess I am!!"

"Great." I say, half-sarcastically, half-sincerely. "Now let's get t' sleep."


	12. Date

I slink out of bed, heading to the kitchen to get breakfast before work. Waffles again. I guess.

I save Nora a few waffles, they're frozen waffles, the kind you'd buy at the grocery store. She loves them.

I heat up the waffles, managing to eat one before realizing my bedroom clock was slightly off. And I'm running behind. I put the others in the microwave, slipping on my shirt and coat. And shoes, don't forget those.

I run to the elevator, and by the time I get outside, Ivan is happily humming, sitting in his car.

I get in, smiling. "Hej."

He smiles. "Hi, Princess! Is Nora still asleep?"

I nod. "She has 'n exam today, 's why I called ya."

He taps the steering wheel, slowly pulling away from the apartment complex. "That is fine! I don't mind driving you to work at all!"

I buckle up, smiling slightly. "Thanks. Also, I think I might go back t' front desk. I can handle 't."

He smiles in surprise. "Good! I'll leave you to it, then!"

I go to the desk by the door, slipping off my coat and putting on my vest. Today, a little social interaction might do me good.

A customer comes in, a blonde man with glasses. The way he walks automatically tells me it’s his first time here.

“H’llo sir! Can I help ya look fer something?” I put on the biggest smile I can manage and stand, but he holds out his hand.

“No thank you, I’m perfectly fine. I’m sure I can find it.” And he walks off.

And, of course, not even two minutes later, he’s back in front of my desk, a timid expression on his face.

“Change yer mind?” I can’t help but smirk. New people can’t possibly navigate the endless maze that is IKEA.

He scoffs. “No.. Just.. Can’t exactly .. Find the right make.” He shrugs, hiding an obvious blush.

I stand. “Well, I’d be glad t’ help ya.” He tugs on his collar, nodding.

“I’m Birgit, pleased to meet you sir. What ‘re ya looking for today?” I smile.

He clears his throat. “Just a small sofa- the one in the Yellow section of the catalogue-” He butchers the Swedish name of the sofa as he flips through his catalogue to show me.

I hold back a groan and nod. “Right this way.” I lead him to the sofa- it’s a yellow one, low, close to the ground, cute.

He smiles slightly, thanking me as I give him the number for the warehouse. “Please let me know if ya have any trouble!” I smile, leading him off.

And return to the front desk.

I help about 6 more customers before my shift is finally over. Ivan comes over to my desk, dinging on the bell with a big smile on his face. “Leaving time, Princess!”

I stand up, stretching. “Long day.” I sigh, smiling. He nods. “Da, but it’s finally over!” He slips his coat on, holding the door open for me as soon as I’m ready.

The ride home is slow, I’m antsy. Tino’s coming, Tino’s coming!

As soon as Ivan pulls into the drive, I get out, not waiting for him to park. I yell a “thank you”, running upstairs.

And when I get inside, I am in for a pleasant surprise. The apartment is sparkly clean! Cleaner than it’s been in months, honestly.

Nora comes out from the kitchen, grinning. “I had time after my test and I thought I’d clean a little for you!”

I give her a big hug. “Were ya that bored?” She hugs back, nodding. “Very.”

I laugh. “Well, Tino should be here at 3.” Nora glances at the clock. “It’s 2:30.” I run in my room- quickly getting changed. Wow, Nora even cleaned the bedroom.. I laugh to myself, coming back in the living room.

“What are ya hungry for, Nor?” She stretches out on the couch. “Chicken. Nuggets.”

I groan. “Chicken nuggets? I don’t even think we have those. We have chicken patties though.. That’s kind of the same thing..” I shrug.

She grins. “That’ll work.” I nod, going into the kitchen to start on the food. “Chicken patties and what..?” I call into the living room.

“Carrots!” She smacks the couch. “And green beans!”

“Alright-”

Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. Tino?

“Come in!” I call. The door slowly opens, and Tino’s cute face pops in. “Hi!”

Nora sits up on the couch. “Tino, ya weenie!”

He reels back. “Noooora.. Right, hiiii!” He pauses, trying to come up with an insult. “You dingleberry!”

Nora snorts. “You fucking suck.” He bites his lip, stepping inside. “Right, thank you.”

I run over to Tino, grabbing his hands and holding them in mine. “Nora wanted chicken so I made chicken patties. Hope that’s okay.” I smile a little.

He laughs, kissing my cheek. “That’s fine.”

I tug him further inside. “Come sit down. Nora doesn’t have to take up the whole couch, shove her over a little.” I laugh.

Tino sits on the very edge of the couch, because Nora’s doing the best she can to actually take up the whole couch.

He nudges her with his shoulder. “Move over, you Satan bulldozer..!” “You really fucking suck!”

And now they’re kicking each other, great. “You two, quit it! Or I’ll eat all the chicken myself!”

Nora freezes, Tino’s foot on her chest, about to fall off the couch. “Sorry babe.” I blush. “NORA.” She shoves Tino off, and they sit normally, with enough room for me in the middle as I carry over their plates.

“I already ate earlier.” I hum, grabbing a cup of tea. Nora gorges herself on her chicken patty, while Tino tries to eat as elegantly as possible. And that means cutting the sandwich into tiny pieces with his fork and spoon and eating it.

I shoot him a confused look, and he shrugs. He’s got his pinky up, trying to look like some British noble or something. I groan, closing my eyes as I drink.

And now, Nora’s already done. I swear it’s only been two minutes since I gave her the plate, she must have been starving. She’s always been too lazy to cook her own food, I always do it for her.

“Got any more?” She grins. “Nora- are you even real?” I stifle a laugh. She shrugs. “If I wasn’t, I don’t think I’d be this hungry. More?”

I point to the counter, rolling my eyes. She skips into the kitchen, making two more sandwiches. And taking the rest of the veggies.

Tino finishes his sandwich very elegantly, then moves on to his carrots and beans.

Nora throws something at me, and the particular something hits me in the face, making me groan in pain. “Noraaaaa..”

“Birgit needs her food~!” She teases, pointing to my lap. Licorice.

I hold up the pinwheel, taking a bite before tilting my head. “Yer giving me licorice?”

She nods. “You didn’t eat today, did you?”

I take another bite, sighing. “Nora, can we not do this right now?”

She tosses me another pinwheel, shaking her head. “Eat it.”

I sigh, eating the first and moving on to the second. I glance over at Tino, and he’s looking at me with a slight pout. He stabs at a carrot, then holds his fork out to me.

I shake my head, laughing. “Tino, I don’t want that. Don’t.”

His pout gets bigger and he stuffs it in his mouth. Nora looks over at me, her expression makes it look like she’s ready to scold me, but she’s holding back.

I eat the second piece of licorice, sighing.

If we can even consider this a first date, it has now gone horribly.

Thanks to Nora.

Is she doing this on purpose? To spite me? To make me look pitiful in front of Tino? Because I think it’s working.

He’s looking at me with those big eyes, still pouting.

I don’t care, I don’t want it. What would Nora know?

I drink my tea, then bite at my cheek. I want to cry. But I wouldn’t do that now- that’s stupid.

I inch closer to Tino, and he sets his plate down and grabs my hand. There it is- his cute smile. He kisses my cheek, and I blush. And glance over to the kitchen. Nora’s not looking, she’s doing the dishes.

Tino glances at the clock on the wall. “I should go, huh?” He smiles, grabbing my chin to tilt my head up. “I’ll come when you call, alright love?” Something inside of me stirs, I like that, a pet name of sorts.

“Mm.” I nod a little, and he pulls me closer for a quick kiss.

He stands, letting my hand go. “Really- call me.” He smiles. “I’ll take you out. It’ll be nice. Maybe I’ll show you around my new place.” He winks.

I blush again. “Y-Yeah..”

He waves and grins before slipping outside.

Nora groans as soon as the door shuts. “Finallllllly-”

I stand up, putting my cup down. “What was all th’t about?” I demand.

She reels back. “What? Me trying to make sure you’re okay?” I scoff.

“Any other time. Any time. Ya could’ve waited ‘till he left. Why then? Why?”

She chews her lip. “I was worried. That’s all. I know you only ate breakfast. You didn’t even eat that much. I’m sorry-- You had to have something.”

“You could’ve waited.”

“I’m sorry!”

“.. ‘m going to bed.” I walk back into my room, flopping on the bed.

I hear dishes clatter in the kitchen.

Maybe I was a little too hard on her, but it was her fault.

Nora walks in my room, drying her hands on her jeans. “Move over a little, will you?”

I scootch to the edge of the bed so she can lay down, and tug the blankets over my head.

“Are you really that mad?” She says quietly, snuggling up to me.

“Very mad, for yer information.”

She kisses my temple. “I’m sorry. I really am. It’ll never happen again.”

I push her face away. “Alright. Sure. I work ‘n the morning, so I need t’ sleep. Quiet.”

She rolls over. “Right, sorry.”

I huff and nuzzle my pillow - and eventually fall asleep.


	13. Date 2

Nora is already awake when I crawl out of bed. She’s in the kitchen, making French toast, apparently.

I’m already dressed for work when she finishes cooking, so I sit on the couch, groaning.

She thrusts a plate of toast and eggs in front of me, not saying a word.

Wait - I didn’t think she could cook? In all the years I’ve known her, she’s never so much as glanced at a spatula! And now this?

“Yes, I can cook, for your information.” She stares down at me, pushing the plate towards me again.

“Fine.” I huff, cutting the toast with my fork. “Why do ya always make me cook, ‘f you can cook, hmm?”

She shrugs, going back in the kitchen. “I don’t like cooking.” She comes back with two cups of coffee. “Here.”

I take a sip of the coffee, rolling my eyes. “Whatever.” I eat some of the toast, which is surprising really good. “Need t’ hurry. Can’t be late.”

“Right, right.” She eats a piece of toast herself. And another.

I finish eating quickly, then down my coffee. “Let’s go.”

Nora nods. “Right.” She shoves me outside, and I go down to the car.

“Did you sleep okay?” She starts up the car, pulling out on the street.

I shrug. “Fine.” She taps on the steering wheel. “Good.”

She looks around as she drives, biting at her lip. “So, you gonna call Tino?”

I shrug again. “Dunno. I mean.. Yeah. I dunno when, though.”

She says nothing until we pull up to IKEA, when she leans over and kisses my cheek. “Have a good day.”

I shove her face away, laughing. “I will. Bye.”

Nora smiles and waves, pulling away.

\--

Work goes by easily. I try to leave early because I want to walk home, but Ivan is nosy as usual and insists on taking me home.

I don’t feel like talking on the way, so I stay quiet. Debate calling Tino.

No. It would be dumb to try again so soon. Plus, I probably look like a mess right now. And I feel awful.

But on the other hand, I’m off tomorrow. And maybe a real dinner would make me feel a little better.

But I don’t want to dress up..

But I will. I guess.

As soon as I get home, I call Tino.

“Hello?”

“Tino? It’s me, Birgit. What’re ya doing?”

“Nothing, nothing! I’m just.. Writing.” He laughs.

“Writing?” I hum, walking up to my apartment.

“Mm! New song.” He sings something but I can’t make out what is. “But if you wanna come over, I can come get you!”

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

“Alright! I’ll be right down, okay?” “Yeah.”

I run upstairs to get dressed. Nora is at school still, so no worries there.

I go to my closet, and grab a pink sweater, and a black skirt. And a few bracelets.

I change quickly, throwing on my jewelry, slipping on my creepers.

I stare down at myself. Stupid.

I take off the skirt, and slip on black skinny jeans instead.

Still stupid.

But I’m out of options. Today’s laundry day. As in, do the laundry today. I have no other clothes clean.

“This is fine..” I hum to myself, pulling up my hair.

I just hope Tino doesn’t think I look as stupid as I feel.

\--

He picks me up about a half hour later, in his swanky blue Fiat. He’s wearing.. A button-up shirt.. Blue jeans..

It throws me off, honestly. He looks.. Fancy and casual.. And sexy- I cough.

“You alright?” He asks, driving cheerily.

“Fine-” I manage, blushing.

He’s singing the same tune he was earlier.. I still can’t make out the words, he’s not even saying words, just mumbling.

“Is that the song yer writing?” I ask quietly.

He grins. “Yep! I think I’ve got it all ready.. I could sing it when we get to my place, if you like!” He smiles.

I nod. “Yes.” I blurt, grinning.

He suddenly blushes. “It’s um.. Not really good, though. Eduard usually writes the songs..” He mumbles. “But I wanted to write. I write sometimes.” He smiles again.

“I’m sure it’s wonderful..” I say bashfully.

“I hope!” He giggles, and I laugh with him.

It’s quiet for a few minutes, until he speaks up again. “So.. Are you a fan of my band?” He smirks.

I blush ridiculously. “H-Honestly, I wasn’t. Until Nora dragged me to your concert.. And .. I saw you.” I hide my face in my sleeve.

He laughs loudly. “Really? Because of me!!” He’s blushing slightly. “Yeah.” I laugh.

The car stops, and he leans over, staring at me.

“Kiss?” I say quietly.

“Please.” He smiles sheepishly.

I lean in, holding his chin, and gently press my lips to his.

He slowly pulls away, giggling. “Thank you.” I nod, laughing.

He unbuckles, opening the door. “C’mon.” I get out after him, straightening out my clothes.

“You look nice.” He smiles.

“You look better.” I blush.

“Stop it..” He giggles, pushing me up to the front doors of the house.

“It’s huge.” I blurt out. “Wait till you see the inside!” He laughs. “It gets better!”

I hurry inside, and grin. He wasn’t kidding. The sitting room is furnished in shades of tan, with golden accents. “It’s lovely..”

“Want a tour?” He grins.

“Definitely.”

Tino shows me the whole house, all three floors of it. I sit at the dining room table as soon as we come back downstairs. “Want dinner?” He smiles. “I’m not the best cook, but I’m pretty alright.”

“Um... Yeah.” I nod.

“What do you want? I can make spaghetti..” He flushed. “If that’s alright..”

I giggle. “Yes. Oh! I can help..” He grins. “Good, it’ll be fun! I bet you’re better at cooking than me..”

He grabs my hand, dragging me into the kitchen. “I wanna make the sauce from scratch, is that okay?”

“Yes.. I’ve never done it before, you’ll have to show me how.” I smile bashfully. “I can boil the pasta, while we make it.”

“That sounds good!” He smiles. “The pans are under the sink there, and the noodles are in the cupboard above you.”

I grab a big pot and a saucepan from the cabinet, and then a box of spaghetti noodles. I fill the pot with water, then set it on the stove, turning it on high. Then I slink beside Tino.

“How do we make the sauce?” I smile.

“It’s really easy!” He grins, grabbing some tomatoes from the fridge. “We just .. Puree these, I think that’s the word? And then salt it and use different herbs! We can even throw in stuff like onions and peppers.”

“I see.” He starts chopping up the tomatoes and onions, and I watch curiously.

I run back over to the pot, remembering the water, which is boiling. I turn it down a bit,then drop the noodles in. I turn back to Tino, who has dropped the stuff into the pan.

He stirs the sauce, humming softly. “How long do you have to cook that?”

“Just until it’s liquid-y enough! And it tastes good!” He giggles. “Speaking of which, wanna taste test?”

“Yes, please.” I grin. He holds up the spoon, holding his hand under it, then tips it into my mouth. I hum in approval immediately. “Mm, excellent! Tino, ‘s amazing! Wayyyy better than t’ stuff in the jars!”

He laughs. “Thank you! I-It’s just a recipe I found online..” He blushed, stirring it again.

I go back to the pot, stirring the noodles. “These ‘re just about done.” I smile.

“Great! This is done, I’m just keeping it warm.” He smiles.

I pull a noodle from the pot, blowing on it, then eating it. “I think it’s good. D’ya have a colander?”

“Yes, it’s.. here!” He hands me the colander, and I put it in the sink. “’xcuse me..” I say, carrying the pot slowly to the sink, pouring the noodles into the colander carefully.

Steam fills the room. “Whoa!” I hear him laughing, though I can’t see him.

I put the pot down, waving steam away, wiping it from my glasses. I can just make out Tino’s blurry form, and suddenly I feel his hands around my face.

“You look so cute without your glasses!” He giggles, kissing my nose.

“Do I..?” I blush. “I can’t see.” I laugh.

He pulls his hands away, smiling. “Sorry,” He laughs, and I push my glasses back up my nose.

“So..” He says, after a minute. “Let me finish the spaghetti.” He smiles. I nod, then sit at the table.

He shakes the noodles out, before putting them back in the pan and pouring the sauce in. “How much do you want?” He smiles over his shoulder.

“Uh, not too much.” I shrug.

He puts two scoops of spaghetti on a plate, passing it to me. He puts 4 on his.

“I’m starved!” He grins, sitting beside me. I nod, poking at my food while he takes huge bites of his.

“Somethin’ the matter?” He asks, after he swallows his bite.

“Nothin’.” I smile.

He gives a nervous smile. “Hey, you don’t need to be nervous around me, or anything like that. I mean..”

I hold in a sigh. So Nora didn’t tell him. Not like she would, I mean- she doesn’t really talk to him.

But I’m glad she hasn’t.

“Are you sick?” He touches my forehead, and I suddenly I jerk back.

“No. No, I’m fine.” I say quickly.

He looks a bit hurt. “Ah, sorry.” He strains a smile.

I look away from him, before taking a bite of the spaghetti. Now I feel like trash. Another date, successfully ruined, I think.

Tino’s quiet for a while, as we eat. He finally speaks up, but I half wish that he hadn’t.

“You know, you don’t need to worry.. Or anything. I think.. I think you look amazing.. So-”

I put down my fork, a little louder than I would have liked.


	14. Sleepover

“I think I should go.” I say quietly.

“H-Huh? Bir, no, there’s so need-” Tino looks panicked.

“I ruined the date..”

He grabs my hand as I try to stand up. “Bir! It’s not ruined, please-”

I sit again. “I’m sorry.” I want to cry.

“It’s okay! Please, listen. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I know you don’t know me very well, but you can talk to me. Please talk to me.” He offers me a tiny smile.

I close my eyes. “I over-reacted. But listen,” I open them again, and stare right into his. “I don’t like bein’ patronized. I can’t stand it. I won’t eat ‘f I’m not hungry, ya can’t convince me otherwise. Sometimes I’ll feel fine, then ‘t hits me like a brick.”

He watches me with his big, indigo eyes, holding my hands tightly.

“I know Nora thinks.. She thinks ‘s because of my weight.” I look abashed. “I mean maybe. Maybe that’s part ‘f it. But it’s not all. I don’t know what it is.” I finally say, then pull my hands away from his.

“Just please.. Please don’t comment on it. I can’t help ‘t. I’m trying to get better, I really am.”

He nods slowly. “I won’t. I didn’t know, I’m sorry.” He presses a quick kiss to my forehead.

My face flushes. “Thanks.”

We sit in silence for a minute, until I remember. “Oh, how about th’t song?”

Tino’s eyes light up. “Yeah, of course! Come on!” He pulls me to my feet, leading me to his bedroom. “Let me get my guitar!”

He digs a huge case from his closet, then pulls out his black acoustic guitar.

“Okay, now listen, I’m not very good at guitar, let alone writing, but I hope this turned out well.”

He starts strumming quickly, pulling me into the pop-ish beat, before he starts to sing.

“Those lips, hypnotizing. Those lips, mesmerizing. Those lips, gold.. my heart, sold..”

I listen to him, leaning back on the bed.

He finishes the song with a big smile, his cheeks pink. “So.. Uh, what did you think?”

I grin, sitting up. “That was fantastic!” I laugh. “You should be t’ songwriter, I think.”

He giggles. “I’m not that good!”

“Yer great.” I smirk.

His face flushes, and he looks away. “T-Thanks..” He smiles, then jumps up to put his guitar away. “I don’t know if I’ll ever even get to play that, though..”

“Huh? Why?” I ask, leaning on my arm as I watch him.

“It’ll be a long time before Matthias’ arm gets better. And we swore we wouldn’t replace him.” He says softly. “And.. And even if he was fine, it’d still be a while, because I usually don’t write.. A-and, I don’t think the band would like it anyways.. I-it’s too pop, we’re not a pop band-” He rambles, and I pat him on the back.

“No. It’s good. I’m sure they’ll like it. You can always change t’ song a little, ya know, make it a little deeper, or whatever.” I shrug. “But I really like it. How it is.”

Tino smiles widely, his face pink. “A-Are you serious? T-That means a lot!” He puts his guitar in the closet again, then faces me. “I’ll.. I’ll play it for them, the next time we get together. And.. And maybe they will like it!” He laughs happily.

I laugh with him, smiling. “I bet they will. Don’t worry.” I suddenly think of an idea.

“What ‘f ya play it on electric guitar? Instead of acoustic?” I suggest.

He gasps in delight. “That’s a great idea!” Then he pouts. “Mine is in the studio, though, so not today..” He shrugs.

“That’s fine.” I laugh. “But I still wanna hear it when ya do.” I say, leaning on his shoulder once he sits back on the bed.

“Of course!” He grins. “I’ll bring you with me!”

I giggle. “That’s very nice of ya. I’ll me waiting.” I wink.

He snickers. “Great.” He’s quiet for a second. “So.. What do you wanna do now?”

I shrug. “It’s yer house.”

He hums. “Oh, hey! Do you wanna spend the night?”

I stare in shock. “Isn’t it a bit early fer that?” I blush.

“N-Not like that! Not for that!” He shakes his head quickly, closing his eyes. “I didn’t mean like that!”

I tilt my head. “Huh?”

“I just meant.. I-it’s late, you can stay if you want-” He says quickly. “A-Although Nora probably wants you back home, huh..?”

I squint. Nora probably is pitching a fit. I glance down at my phone. It’s 8:32, but she hasn’t texted me.

“Sure.”

“Huh?” He looks surprised.

“I said sure.” I repeat, sticking my phone back in my pocket. “Like ya said, ‘s late. Don’t want ya to have t’ drive me back right now, not this late.”

Tino grins. “Ah, okay then!”

“You have a guest room I can sleep in, right?” I ask, yawning to emphasize how tired I am.

“Huh? Oh, actually, I was thinking you could sleep in here with me..” He tugs on the blankets.

“Uhh..” I squint at him, shuffling.

“W-What?”

“Tino, I’m not.. not that.. It’s the second date..”

His face goes bright red. “No! I didn’t mean that! Oh gosh, I’m doing it again-” He shakes his head. “I just meant.. It’s cold r-right? Wouldn’t you rather.. S-sleep in here, then all alone..? I mean, you usually sleep with Nora, yeah?”

I nod slowly. “Yeah.”

“So..” He looks at his hands. “I just mean, I’d rather if you slept in here with me. If that’s okay. I won’t do anything funny, I swear! It’s a king-sized bed, you could fit like, 5 people in here! Lots of room..”

I bit my lip. “Okay.” I look into his eyes for a minute. “If you try anything, I will break your hands.” I say sternly. “That can wait until the third date, at least.”

He goes even darker. “Bir! N-No, I!” He flumps back into the pillows. “I’m going to sleep.” He tugs the blankets over his head, hiding.

“Okay.” I sigh, then take off my glasses, putting them on the end table. “I can shut off t’ light, right?”

“Sure..” He says, muffled by the blankets.

I do so, and snuggle under the covers. He’s really warm, I can feel him from all the way over here. There’s room to fit three people between us, just like he says. I’m all the way at the edge of the bed, though.

I stay perfectly still for a moment, before shuffling closer to him. Room for one person, now.

He notices, of course. “Birgit?”

“Cold.” I reach out, my hand finding his arm.

“O-Oh! You can come closer, if you w-want.”

“You.”

“Huh?”

“You move closer. Yer too close to the edge. Might fall off.”

“Ah, okay!” He moves closer, until he’s pressed against me.

After a moment, he speaks. “We’re um.. We’re spooning.”

“Yeah.” I say.

“I’m the little spoon.” He says weakly.

“Yeah.”

“That’s weird, because g-guys are usually the big spoon.”

“Sayin’ ya wanna switch?” I tighten my grip on his waist.

“N-No! I like this. It’s just, gosh, I feel like I’m too warm.” He laughs nervously. “I’m probably suffocating you with my heat..”

“Tino.”

“Huh?”

“Quiet.” I give him a squeeze around the stomach for good measure.

“AH! Yeah, I’m sorry!”

I grunt, then press my face into his hair. It’s so cold, and he’s warm. Very warm. I can tell he’s nervous. Not only from the heat, but his heart is beating like a rabbit’s.

I sigh softly, feeling the tiredness hit me.

The last thing I remember is him whispering, “Goodnight..”


	15. Breakfast at Birgit's

I nearly roll out of the bed in the morning, but Tino grabs me just before I do.

“Whoa, are you okay!?” He tugs me closer to him, laughing softly.

“Fine..” I sigh, shaking his arm off me as I sit up. “How long ya been up?”

Tino pulls his phone from underneath him. “Ah, ten minutes, at the most? I was waiting for you to get up, I wanted to know what you want to do. I can either take you home, or we can have breakfast first. Or maybe breakfast on the way? Or maybe you want to stay again?” He starts to ramble again.

“Uhh.. Maybe ya can take me home. I can give you somethin’ at my house, if ya want. Nora’s probably flipping out.” I mumble.

“Oh, okay!” He gets out of bed. “Just.. Lemme change, okay? I’ll be out in a minute!”

I grab my phone, stretching. “Yeah.” I shuffle into the living room, putting on my shoes and coat before sitting on the couch.

He comes out a few minutes later, wearing a different shirt and tennis shoes. “Could you hand me my coat?” He smiles.

“Sure.” I give him the coat from the rack, going to the door.

“That anxious to leave?” He laughs.

“Yes.” I say, then clear my throat as he pouts. “I-I don’t want Nora to be worried.”

“I know!” He laughs suddenly. “I was just playing around. C’mon.” He holds open the door for me.

“Thanks.” I shuffle through the snow that starts to cover the ground, right to the car.

He gets in right after me, quickly starting the car. “Phew! It’s COLD out there!”

“I know.” I turn the heater on high, shivering.

“Didn’t know it was gonna snow..” He mumbles.

“Me either.” I watch the snow falling, then shake my head as he pulls away. “Shoulda brought my scarf.”

He smiled a little. “Don’t worry. It should warm up soon.” He turns on the radio, then immediately turns it up. “I love this song!”

He starts singing as he drivers, tapping the wheel. His voice is probably the prettiest thing I’ve ever heard.

He’s quiet suddenly. “Oh, um, by the way. I really hope I didn’t make you feel awkward last night..”

I shake my head, smiling a little. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. I had a lot of fun.”

He grins, then starts saying something else, but I shush him. “This is my favorite song!”

I turn the radio up even more, now grinning.

Tino gives me a confused look, then laughs. “What is it?”

“It’s Ring Ring! By ABBA!” I say quickly, before jumping into the chorus of the song.

He listens to a verse of it, then catches on very quickly, humming the next as I sing softly.

He smiles as the song ends. “I didn’t know you could sing, Bir!”

“I can’t.” I say, shaking my head.

“No, no! That was really good! A little quiet, but really good!”

I feel my face heating up. “Tino, I’m really not..”

“You are! I promise! I would know, I’m a singer.” He winks.

I bite my lip, smiling. “Well.. T-thank you.”

He grins. “No problem!” He throws the car in park, patting my hand. “We’re here!”

I stare up at my apartment building and sigh. “Yeah. Guess we are.” I can already here Nora yelling at me.

“I don’t think she’ll be angry at you, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Tino says, almost as if he can read my mind. “She’ll probably just punch me.” He laughs.

“Uh.. Yeah.” I mumble. “C’mon.” I get out, shuddering in the cold air.

He meets me in front of the building, grabbing my hand as we walk upstairs.

By the time we get to the third floor, I nearly have a heart attack. Nora is sitting in front of the door, her face buried in her sketchbook, her pencil scratching at the paper furiously.

“Nora..?” I squint.

She jumps to her feet. “Do you have any idea how worried I was?! I was worried SICK! I waited up ALLLL night! And-” She continues prattling on, not even noticing Tino, it seems.

“Why didn’t you call!” She says breathily.

“Why didn’t _you_ call?” I counter.

“I lost my phone!” She says, not even mildly ashamed, her voice still angry.

“How would I have called, then?” I ask, putting my hand on my hip.

She thinks about this for a minute. “You could have left a message!”

“How do ya know I didn’t?”

I’ve really got her now. She groans. “Whatever! Just go inside!” She tugs mine and Tino’s hands apart, making him yelp, then shoves me inside. Tino sneaks in right before she slams the door shut.

“And YOU!” She punches Tino’s shoulder, hard. “What’s the big idea?”

“Owww!” He rubs it, whining. “It was late! I didn’t wanna drive home in the snow at night!”

She thinks over this alibi, before apparently deciding it’s valid. “You’re forgiven. It would have been awful if Bir would have gotten into an accident..” She sighs, hugging onto my arm.

I wiggle her off, then go into the kitchen. “Yeah. Anyways. Didja eat?”

“Noooo.” She shrugs. “I’ve been out there all morning.”

“Ridiculous.” I mumble.

“What? I care!” She flops down on the couch. “C’mon, Tino! Have a seat.” She smirks.

He squints, but sits anyways. “Hi.”

Nora stretches her legs across his lap, grinning. “Hi.”

He rolls his eyes, watching me.

“Uhm, what do ya want? I can make waffles..”

“We had waffles the other day!” Nora groans. “Make eggs!”

Tino nods in agreement. “Can you make them sunny side-up?”

“I can try.” I shrug, getting the eggs from the fridge and setting them on the counter.

“Great! I like my yolk reallllly runny.” He grins.

“You could get food poisoning, you know.” Nora kicks him and he groans. “Can you scramble mine, Bir?” She calls.

“Sure.” I start cooking Tino’s eggs, making 3 of them (four, technically, I ruined the first) and putting them on a plate. “Do you want bread? Want it toasted?” I asked, poking my

head out from the kitchen.

“No, just a piece of normal bread would be fine.” He smiles. “Thank you!”

I nod, throwing a piece on the plate before walking it out to him. “Move yer feet, Nora.”

She pouts, then follows me back into the kitchen.

“What? Afraid I’m gonna ruin yer eggs?” I smirk.

“Yes. You’re pretty good at burning them. Oh, also, I want cheese in them.” She grabs a few pieces from the fridge, handing them to me expectantly.

I sigh dramatically. “Okayyy..” I crack four eggs in the pan and stir them, letting them set for a minute. I put the cheese on, and Nora grins at me.

I roll my eyes, then finish cooking her food, scraping the cheesy, sticky mess onto a plate. “Here. You don’t get bread.” I smirked. “You have cheese.”

She takes the plate from me and wraps her free arm around my waist. “Share it with me~”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, I guess.” I shuffle back into the living room, with her still stuck onto me like a parasite.

I sit beside Tino, giving him a shrug, and he laughs. “Oh, these are really good.” He says, smiling.

“Thanks.” I grin.

Suddenly Nora stuffs a bite of eggs in my mouth and I pinch her, but eat them.

“Ow!” She whines, pouting.

“You scared me.” I say, swallowing.

Tino pokes at his food, taking another bite before standing. “Um.. Well, I really hate to say this, but I need to go.” He smiles nervously. “I have something to do..”

I shrug. “It’s fine.” I smile, standing to give him a hug. “Call me later, okay?”

“Sure!” He kisses my cheek, then leaves.


	16. The Danish Guy

“Sooooo, Bir baby..” Nora leans over on me as soon as the door closes.

“What?” I ask, pinching her hand, which is creeping up my stomach.

“We’re all alone now~ What do you wanna do..?”

“Noooora.” I roll my eyes dramatically, letting my accent thicken up as I say her name- because I know this will make her listen. It’s her weakness.

“Oooh, baby, I love it when you say my name..” I was wrong. She grins even wider.

“Nora. Down, girl.” I push her hands off.

And her hand digs into the fabric of my sweater. “You know, polyamory is a thing.”

I squirm. “T-Tino’s yer cousin. I don’t think he’ll be okay with that.”

She smacks her teeth. “We’re not actually related. It’s a figure of speech.”

“What do you mean?”

She shrugs. “We were best friends in middle school and high school. We literally lived together. We pretty much were cousins. At least that’s what we told everyone.”

I tilt my head. This is news. “What happened, then?”

“He got new friends in college. Didn’t have time for me anymore.”

I frown. “I’m sorry.” Thinking back on it now, it makes a bit more sense. Why she was so angry.. “Do you miss him?”

“Of course. Don’t be stupid.”

“Did you like him?”

Her face flushes. “Why are you asking me all of this..? I don’t know.”

“W-Well, you were the one who suggested..”

“Yes! I liked him.” She spits, then buries her face in my sweater.

I’m quiet for a minute, then I speak. “I think I would be okay with it.”

She looks up. “Really? I was j-just kidding, but..!”

“I can’t promise anything. We’d have to talk to Tino first.”

She moves so she’s sitting in my lap. “If he won’t share you, I’ll kill him.”

I laugh. “Nora. You can’t kill Tino.”

“He’d better share, then!” She grins devilishly, kissing me hard.

“Mmf!” I laugh, tilting my head away. “Nora! That’s not a friendship kiss!”

“I know. I’m so bad. I need a spanking.”

“NOR.” I shove her off of me, onto the couch. “Shush! Otherwise, you’re sleeping there!”

“Okayyyy, I’ll behave.” She grins, then wraps her legs around my waist. “Call Tino.”

“He just left.” I groan, prying her off. “Call him later, then!”

“I will!” I sigh, rolling my eyes.

“Innnn the meantime.. Let’s do something.”

“No.”

“Not like that, Bir!” She sits up, hugging me. “I meant like.. Go out! Like to the movies!”

I shrug. “Can we go to the mall, actually? I have some stuff I’d like to get.”

“Sure!” She kisses my cheek, grinning. “I can drive.” She jumps up, grabbing her keys off of the kitchen table. “Are you ready?”

“I mean.. Yeah.” I shrug, then remember. “It’s cold out.”

“Uh, duh. It is February, babe.” She stares at me.

“Scarf.” I say, then grab my coat and fluffy scarf. “Now I’m ready.”

“’kay hun.” She grabs my arm, then politely escorts me outside to her car. And by politely, I mean she literally drags me as quick as she can.

“Holy SHIT it’s cold as balls!” She groans as she gets in.

I calmly get in, sighing. “I don’t think those are cold..”

“How would you know, have you ever felt them?!”

“Erm, no-” I blink, shaking my head.

“That’s what I thought!”

“Have you?”

“Have I what, babe?”

“F-Felt.. Them..?”

“Nah.”

I squint. “Alright.”

She tugs the pack of cigarettes from her jacket, and takes one out before starting the car and pulling out.

“Bir, can you light me?”

“Huh? Yeah..” I shrug, digging in the console for her lighter, then flick it on.

She purses her lips till the cigarette meets the flame, then grins. “Th’nk ya.”

“Yeah.” I shove the lighter back in the console, then lean back in my seat as she drives.

“Whatcha gettin’ at the mall?” She asks, tapping her ashes in the cup holder tray. She isn’t actually a habitual smoker, I know, she does it for looks.

I tell her not to sometimes. Not like she listens.

“Uh, just a hoodie.. There’s a new Supernatural one at ..”

“Ah, no way!” She grins. “Hopefully they have two in stock. I need a new hoodie, honestly.”

“I mean.. They should..” I mumble.

“Oh! Dang, I needed to go to the mall toooooo, I was gonna see if they had any new Deadpool comics..”

“Yesssss, me too...” I nod, turning up the heater.

“Oh, hey, did I tell you what I found?”

“No, whaddja find?”

“Look in the CD holder.”

I reach above my head, peeking at all the CDs. There’s pretty much every Fall Out Boy CD ever, a Panic! At The Disco CD, and the ABBA CD she keeps in here for me ..

“What is it?”

“Oh my god, stupid, look at the LAST CD!”

I huff, then pull the last CD out. “Nora! Is this!”

“LOL, no listen, that’s the first mixed tape Tino EVER put out. Some of the songs are a little shitty, but some of them are pretty okay.”

“How old is this!?”

“Like 6 years old, no lie.”

“Can I put it in?”

“That’s what he said.”

“Well, can I?!” I groan, waving the CD.

“Of course, babe.” She grins, pointing at the CD player, and I put it in.

Immediately, Tino’s sugary voice fills the car. It’s so weird - because he sings about things like death and hurt- but his voice is so cheery.

“UGH, this song is SO gooooood.” She taps her fingers on the wheel in time with the drum, practically screaming along the lyrics.

After that song ends, and she’s practically out of breath, I finally speak. “Nora, if you don’t let me download these songs, I will literally hurt you.”

She laughs, finally stopping the car in the parking lot of the mall. “I was gonna! Why do you think I told you?”

I shrug, tugging my scarf over my nose as she turns the car off, getting out. I meet her in front of the car, already freezing. “’s go.”

She grabs my hand, tugging me inside of the mall entrance. “Okay, I’m gonna go to the comic book store- you head over to Hot Topic, ‘kay?”

I shrug. “Yeah. Meet me at t’ food court.”

“Alright, babe.” She grins, kissing my cheek, then running off.

I jam my hands in my pockets, wiggling my nose to push my glasses up.

And suddenly, I’m on the floor.

“Ah, christ- I’m sorry!”

I blink, then slowly sit up. A blond man with spiky hair stands over me, frowning. “I’d offer to help you up.. But..” He waves his arm, which is in a sling. “I’m a little off-balance.”

I manage a smile, scraping myself off the floor. “It’s alright. Shoulda looked where I was goin’.”

He laughed, loudly. “No, it’s my fault, really.” He glances away.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry.. Bye.” I wave, going off again.

“Oh, wait!”

I stop suddenly, and turn. “Huh?”

“Do you.. Uh, know where the Hot Topic is here..? I’m kinda new. And this mall is HUGE.” He laughs again.

“I was just going there..” I shrug. “I could lead you, I guess.”

“Thank you!” He grabs my hand with his free one, shaking it enthusiastically. “My name is Matthias!”

I raise an eyebrow. “Matthias?” I’ve heard this before. “I’m Birgit.”

He laughs for a third time, in like, under a minute. “Birgit? A lotta Birgits around here, I’ll say. My friend Tino is dating a girl named Birgit.”

“I’m dating someone called Tino..” I say slowly. “He’s in a band.” It clicks. “Are you Matthias Kohler? You’re his bandmate?”

He gasps, then chuckles. “Yeah! That’s me, the one and only!” He picks up a strand of my hair, grinning. “Tino said you were pretty, but WHOOO! He didn’t say you were this pretty!”

My face flushes. “Uh..”

“Sorry.” He laughs. “We were going to Hot Topic..?”

“Yeah.” I nod quickly, pointing in front of us. “Follow me.”

I start walking, staying silent until we reach the store.

“Whoa! The store here is much bigger than the one back home..”

I shrug. “Uh, yeah.” I glance around, before going to the band shirts. I want to ditch this guy. He seems creepy, and .. Stupid.

Buttttt, he follows right behind me, watching as I pick up a shirt.

“Whoa! You like The 1975!? I love them!” He punches my arm, and I glare at him.

“Ah, sorry-” He waves his hands, sweating nervously.

“Stop touching me.” I stare at him.

“Sorry!”

I sigh heavily, putting the shirt over my arm, then continue my search for the SPN hoodie. Which is on the other side of the room.

I grab the biggest one they have, then freeze as I glance over my shoulder.

“Is.. Is there a reason why yer still followin’ me?”

Matthias shuffles, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m.. I’m being annoying, aren’t I? I’m sorry, I just.. Literally just moved here. I have no idea where anything is, and I hate being alone. And.. I dunno, I thought since you were Tino’s girlfriend, you could hang out with me for a while..”

I blink, feeling a little guilty. “Uh.. Yeah. Sorry. That’s fine.” I sigh, pointing to the register. “I have what I need, so I’m going to check out. But I can wait on you for a while you get yer stuff.”

He gives me the biggest grin I’ve ever seen. “Thank you! I’ll be quick!”

I roll my eyes, going to the line.

He finishes grabbing things as soon as I get out of line, so I stand by the door to wait for him, practically burning a hole in my watch as I stared at it.

He skipped out, smiling. “Done! Thank you for waiting!”

“Yeah.. I-I have to meet up with someone..” I look away awkwardly, pointing to the comic book store.

“Oh! Who?”

I retrain myself from hitting him, then sigh. “My friend I came here with. Nora.”

He claps. “You mean Tino’s cousin!?”

“Yeah..” I nod slowly, then go off, hoping he’ll leave, but he’s still right behind me.

Nora’s at the door, walking out. She waves, grinning. “Bir!”

I scream with my eyes. “Heyyyy, Nora..” I glance back at Matthias. “This is Nora. Nora, this is Matthias. Wait, I bet you knew that.”

“Duh.” She shrugs, then skips over to him, shaking his hand. “How’s it going? I’m Nora, as aforementioned.”

“Hi! It’s nice to finally meet you! Tino talks about you a lot!”

Nora tilts her head. “Does he now?”

“YEAH! He’s told us SOOO many stories..”

She grimaces. “Huh.”

He grins widely. “Anyways! If you guys are done, do you wanna get food with me? I’m STARVING!”

“Sure..” I mumble, and we follow him off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo, i added in matthias! hopefully i didn't mess him up too bad ~  
> also wowza plot twist did you see that one comin bet not


	17. Phone Call

Matthias sits with us at a little table in a corner of the food court, still bubbly as ever, even while he eats his pizza. I share a huge thing of cheesy fries with Nora, who seems to be just as excitable as Matthias now.

“-and after that, I fell off the stage, and I landed all weird.. It hurts just thinking about it!” Matthias laughs, leaning towards Nora as he finishes recounting the tale of his broken wrist. I had figured it was because of drumming too much, or something like that, but it was just because he’s clumsy. Which makes more sense, I guess.

I sigh, stuffing more fries in my mouth. 

“Tias, do you have the time?” Nora asks, smacking the table like she’s just remembered something.

“Uh, yeah!” He digs out his phone after shoving the rest of his food in his mouth. “It’s 4:23!” 

Nora purses her lips. “Huh.. We should be off.” She tugs me to my feet, taking a few fries from the dish. “You have my number, yeah?”

“Yes!” He grins, waving his phone. “I’ll text you!”

“Okay! We’ll hang out again later! Bye!” She waves, then starts walking, pulling me along. 

I lean into her as soon as we’re out of Matthias’ view. “Why’d ya wanna leave?”

“I wanna call Tino. It’s been on my mind all day..” She suddenly looks antsy.

“Nora.. Don’t get so excited. We don’t know what he’ll say. Has he ever even shown any interest in you?”  
She shrugs, jamming her hands in her pockets. “He asked me out once.. Senior year. I told him no, because I thought it would be weird. And.. And I didn’t believe him. I thought.. There was no way he’d ever like me back, because he never acted like that towards me. And now that I think about it.. Maybe that’s why he left.” 

And now she’s quiet. 

“Sor-”

“But it isn’t about him! This is about you. I don’t really care about him. I just want you..” She mumbles, squeezing my hand. “I love you.”

“I-I love you too..” I say softly, hugging her close. 

“Good.” She giggles, swinging our hands back and forth. “I had a lot of fun today! I’m kinda glad we bumped into Tias too. I never really got to talk to him.. I was screaming internally!”

“I bet.” I grin, then pause. “He’s sort of annoying though, don’t you think..?”

“Oh, very annoying. Sometimes it’s kinda cute though. He’s like a little puppy.” She laughs. 

“Is he your favorite member of their band?”

“Of course! Tino’s in second place.” She laughs. “Then Eduard, then.. In very last place.. Lukas.” She sticks her tongue out. She and her brother had the worst sibling rivalry in history. 

Okay, well, sort of. I mean, he’s really weird. He doesn’t say much, like.. Nothing at all. But after a while, he kinda warms up to you. I get on pretty well with him. But she doesn’t care for him, or act like she does, because for some reason he really insists that she calls him ‘big brother’.

Which is pretty weird, honestly. But I don’t question it. Deep down, she loves him. But it is pretty funny to see them fight sometimes.

“Lukas plays the guitar, right?” 

“Yeah, and he’s horrible at it.” She scowls. 

“Uh.. He seems pretty good at it. That’s why he’s in a band.” 

“He’s OKAY at best.” She huffs, pursing her lips. “Anyways. To the car!” She shoves me outside, and I quickly zip up my coat. “It’s so COLD--”

“Agreed!” She grabs my arm, running with me through the falling snow, which seems to be light snow, luckily. 

We get in the car, and she quickly starts it, running the heater. I hold my hands in front of it, sighing heavily. “Ahhh..”

She drives off, anxiously tapping her fingers on the wheel. “As soon as we get home, we’re calling Tino.” 

I roll my eyes. “Alright. If you say so, I guess we have to.”

“We do! I want answers!”

“Alright. I know.. Just don’t get too excited, okay?”

“I won’t.” Nora takes a deep breath.

I grab the water bottle that’s in the console and take a huge drink, leaning back into my seat as Nora cranks up “Lay All Your Love on Me”. As soon as I put the bottle down, I start into the refrain softly.

She’s quiet, and I stop singing after a minute, noticing that she’s listening.

“Why’d you stop?”

“I’m not good. It’s embarrassing.” I mumble.

“Shut up!” She laughs. “You’re kidding, right? You’re so good, you put Agnetha to shame!”

My face flushes. “Nora! Don’t say that!” I like the compliment, but Agnetha Faltskog is my favorite singer, so I’m also incredibly offended she’d say I was better than her.

“It’s true!” She grins.

I bite at my lip. “Thank you..”

“Sing again. I’ll sing with you.” She skips to the next song, Waterloo, and I happily start singing again.

Nora’s version of singing is more like screaming, but I appreciate the offer. It’s kind of funny to listen to her sing.

We get home right after that, and Nora grabs my phone from my pocket as soon as we step inside, shoving it into my hands. “Call him!”

I roll my eyes. “Okay!”

I sigh, dialing Tino’s number. She’s too excited about this, honestly. I don’t know how he will react.

“..ah, hello?”

“T-Tino, hi..”

“Birgit! Hello! How are you?” I smile. His voice is terribly cute, and he sounds so happy. 

“I-I’m fine.. T-there’s somethin’ Nora wanted to talk to ya about, actually.”

“Hmm? Well, erm, put her on then!”

I glance at Nora nervously, before handing her the phone.

“Tino?” She’s speaking quietly.

I can’t here what he says next, but I hope whatever it is, whatever his answer might be -- that he doesn’t hurt her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay soooooo .. i hope this turned out well. WHO KNOWS WHAT TINO'S ANSWER WILL BE ??? WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE SAYING??? ooh the possibilities
> 
> also, at some point in time, should i add in lukas? c:


	18. Encounter

Nora hangs up the phone, but I can’t see her face.

She’s got her back towards me.

She throws the phone on the couch, then looks at me.

“Nora..? What did he say?”

“I couldn’t ask him.”

“What?” I shake my head, and she gives me a funny sort of smile, a tear dripping down her face.

“I was too scared, Bir, I couldn’t-” She shakes her head, sniffling.

“Oh darling, why?”

“I-I don’t know, I just.. I just couldn’t..” She clings onto me, closing her eyes.

“What did you tell him, then?” I ask, gently brushing back her hair.

“I.. I told him I wanted to talk to him soon. But I can’t tell him. I’ll never be able to tell him. I can’t.”

“Do you want me to tell him?” I ask softly, looking at her face.

“Yes. I.. please.” She nods, her voice quiet.

“I will. Don’t worry about it.” I say, rubbing her back gently.

She quickly pulls away, grabbing her phone from her pocket as it starts vibrating.

“Who is it?” I ask, looking at her phone.

“It’s.. It’s Lukas. He says he’s at the Wendy’s downtown, and that he’s gonna be in town for a while. He wants to see me.”

I raise a brow. “Well? You gonna talk to him?”

“Duh..” She mumbles, grabbing her coat.

“Want me to come with?” I know how much she hates to go out alone.

“Sure.” She tosses me her coat, opening the door.

-:-

We park in front of the Wendy’s, and Nora gets out. Her face is darker than I’ve seen it in a long time.

Lukas really isn’t that bad, he just annoys her. And reminds her of.. A different time. And, needless to say, it’s been a rough day for her.

“Ow, fuck!”

I turn around, looking for the source of yell, which is Nora’s voice. She’s in front of the door, on the ground. A girl hovers above her, reaching out her hand.

“I’m so sorry! Please, let me help you up!”

Nora takes her hand, looking up.

She stares at her face for an awkwardly long time.

 

“Michelle..?”

 

“..Emil?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter because hoLY heck surprise batchis


	19. Brother

I run over to the two of them, grabbing Nora’s arm.

“It’s.. It’s not..”

“Oh my god, it’s been too long! How are you? Is this your girlfriend?” She looks at me, grinning. She gives my arm a pat. “Lucky girl! Emil is totally the cutest dude ever!”

“My name isn’t Emil.” Nora interjects, letting go of the girl’s hand. “It’s Nora. And yes, this is my girlfriend. Birgit, this is Michelle.”

Michelle stares from Nora, to me. “Erm... Nora.. Nora.. Sorry. Are you related to Emil? You look.. A _hell_ of a lot like him..” She says, shaking her head.

“Emil’s dead.” Nora spits, grabbing my hand.

Michelle’s face falls. “W-What?! I’m so sorry! W-When did he die?! How?”

“He died in high school. It’s Nora now.” Michelle blinks, processing all of this new information.

“Oh. OH. Y-You’re.. You’re, erm..” She shakes her head. “I’m sorry.” She says, staring. “I should have..”

“It’s fine..” Nora mumbles. “I haven’t seen you since middle school, so- it’s been a long time.”

“So.. You’re..” I can practically feel the girl’s eyes on Nora’s chest.

“I’m 100% girl, yeah.”

“C-Congrats..”

“Take a fucking picture, it’ll last longer.” Nora says, zipping her coat up all the way.

“I-I’m sorry-- I’ll see you around..!” Michelle says, before running off.

“Bye.”

I wait until she’s out of sight, then grab Nora’s hands tightly. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Let’s just go talk to my stupid brother.”

“Okay.” I follow her inside of the restaurant, holding her hand.

Lukas sits in a booth in the back, sipping from a straw. To my surprise, Nora sits on his side of the booth, and hugs his arm hard.

“N-Nora..” He blinks, shaking his head, setting his cup down.

“Luka..!” She’s crying now, fat tears dribbling down her cheeks.

“God Nora, what’s t’ matter?” He asks, pulling her head up. “What happened?”

“I-I--”

I don’t know if it is my place to interject, but I do because I’m not sure if Nora can even form words right now. “We ran into someone called Michelle.” I say quietly.

Lukas’ face softens, and he pulls her into a proper hug. “I’m sorry. She asked, didn’t she?”

“Huh-uh, no, s-she just.. She just talked.. And kept talking.. She wouldn’t shut up!” She shakes her head, hiding her face in his coat. “I cussed her out, big brother, I couldn’t stop myself!”

I stare at them, unsure if I should leave or not. I’ve never seen her act like this. She never really cries. And she just called Lukas big brother..

“It’s not your fault, if she didn’t ask, then-” I stand up. This is not my place, I decide. I go up to the counter, ordering 5 cheeseburgers and 2 milkshakes.

I take my time walking back to the table, then push 3 of the burgers and a milkshake in front of Nora, leaning into the window.

“It’ll be okay. Don’t worry, lillesøster.” He mumbles, brushing back her hair, thumbing away her tears.

“Thank you, Luka..” She glances over at me, biting at her lip. “Thanks for the food. Sorry about.. This.”

I shrug. “It’s okay. Things happen. Don’t worry about it.” I offer her a smile, biting into my food.

She gives me a tiny smile, then slurps at her milkshake, leaning on Lukas’ shoulder.

I have a sudden realization, looking at her brother. I dig my phone from my pocket, sending her a text.

_do you want to ask him about tino? or is that too much right now?_

Her phone vibrates, and she looks down at it, glancing over at me.

**_only if you ask him._ **

_how would that work?_

**_i’ll go to the bathroom, and you ask._ **

_i guess._

Nora clears her throat, standing. “I’ll be back,” she says, before running off.

Lukas watches her leave, before looking over at me.

“Lukas. I have a question for you?” He looks a bit surprised.

“What is it, Birgit?”

“How does Tino feel about Nora?”

He raises a brow. “I don’t know?” He thinks about the question for a minute. “I suppose, they’re like.. Playful, estranged friends. They used to be very close. Not so much anymore.”

I nod slowly. “And romantically?”

His eyebrow disappears into his hairline. “Well- he likes her, I thi- wait.. Aren’t you two dating?”

I nod again. “Yes. But.. But.. Nora and I like each other.” I admit, face flushing. “We were considering the idea of polyamory.”

Lukas seems intrigued. “I see. I think he just might go along with that. I could bring it up, if you’d like.”

“I don’t know. We’d need to ask Nora.”

“Ask me what?” She sits beside her brother, looking at him.

“Would it be alright if Lukas talks to Tino.. About us? Just to warm him up to the idea?” I ask softly.

Nora shrugs. “Don’t see a problem with it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so there! nora is trans, mtf! ooooh, i was v excited about this chapter.   
> let me know what you think!


End file.
